“Just an Old Rejected Relic”
(personal testimony of Viki Boyce)
Testimony of a life scarred by sin, renewed by the new life in Christ
She was born the third in a family of five children, and as with many others in this world was headed for years of struggling in a “broken home”. A very common upbringing in America, she felt very unloved – because of the struggles that a husband and wife without Christ go through day in and day out. Without the spiritual sight of a wise and loving God, her parents made many agonizing mistakes. Giving in to a blind and groping selfish nature they painfully made decisions completely unaware of the serious consequences to little hearts and lives so utterly dependent on them alone.
At the age of fifteen, she is rejected by her family and given over to the care of someone else who also does not know the God of Heaven in a personal way. She is cared for physically and given a friend for the next two years but again God and His ways are not a part of her life and this period of time becomes merely a stepping stone to the next phase of her life…her young adult years.
As the years pass and many damaging circumstances mold and form the mind of a child seeking only to be loved, the child grows desiring that someone, anyone, will reach out to love and accept her.
How sadly typical that many a girl in this predicament grows to allow herself to set aside her dignity and her purity to find a love that she thinks will heal her damaged self-esteem.
She puts her heart into a Godless relationship only to find herself even more damaged and rejected.
In the hurt and confusion of a life without Christ, she lay with broken heart and broken spirit crying out, “Someone help me! Someone please help me!” She hurt so deeply. In the midst of her deep sobbing she senses the presence of the God Who created her and feels His hand reach out as if to say, “I will help you.” In amazement she realizes, “Wow, God cares about me. He really loves me. God loves me. Oh God, show me the way.”
She begins laying aside her worldly ways and begins to search for God’s ways.
“I understand,” she says, “God says in the Bible not to break His law because the consequences are so painful.” So, in her own strength, she tries to abandon her old ways. But, because the flesh is so weak and the patterns have been set, emotional turmoil causes her to go back one more time to her old ways.
She then tries again to live according to the Bible – but, oh my, the consequences of past sin have already presented themselves. Another life has now begun with the conception of a little one.
“What do I do now, God?”
Urged, by those of seeming value in her life, to end her troubles of eighteen years to come and destroy this little life, she realizes she must find the direction of the One with True Wisdom – The God of creation. The One, Who in His great wisdom, has allowed this little life to begin.
He pours out His bountiful grace upon these two helpless lives — a confused and hopeless mother and her helpless little child.
His way versus man’s wisdom. He alone has the answer; He alone knows the end result. He alone can clean up a life bound by sin, marred with destruction. He alone through a yielded heart can set a sin-scarred life on a path of repair, restoration, and renewal.
In the midst of the darts of the opinion and rejection of others, He shows His love and care by providing yet other people with strength and support for His way.
And even at the point of despair, when it seems all is lost – the future destroyed, He looks for obedience to His way and very sweetly and tenderly steps in to guide this ruined life back to healing.
Through months more of pain and confusion this self dependent mother struggles and waits for what her new future holds.
Life still holds many painful experiences, but there is a calm because of the working of God in her life. Though at this point, He is still on the outside of her heart, He has placed Himself on the inside of her life.
Her beautiful baby girl is born and she is overwhelmed with the pleasures of motherhood and filled with fear of trying to raise this little one in such a wicked world.
She commits herself to loving and caring for this new little one who has become her main responsibility in her life.
God continues to allow many circumstances to draw her to Himself and finally in the midst of the struggles of caring for her precious baby, one day, she sees it all clearly: He is my creator. He knows everything, He sees it all. He loves me. He cares about my life. Oh, what a mess I’ve made of this life of mine, and I don’t want to mess up my baby’s life too. What a fool I would be to continue leading my own life – in my own way.
“Dear God, I want You to be my guide. I accept You as my personal Lord and Savior. Come into my life and save me from my sins and live my life for me. From this day on, I want Your will for my life.”
At this point, God gave her a poem, seemingly written just for her about how He used her baby to bring her to Himself and opened her world to other little ones.
“A Baby’s Ministry”
She came to me at Christmas time
And made me mother, and it seemed
There was a Christ indeed and He
Had given me the joy I’d dreamed.
She nestled to me and I kept
Her near and warm, surprised to find
The arms that held my babe so close
Were opened wider to her kind.
I hid her safe within my heart.
“My heart,” I said, “is all for her.”
But lo! She left the door ajar
And all the world came flocking there.
She needed me. I learned to know
The royal joy that service brings.
She was so helpless that I grew
To love all little helpless things.
She trusted me, that I who ne’er
Had trusted, save in self, grew cold
With panic lest this precious life
Not know His stronger, surer hold.
She lay and smiled, and in her eyes
I watched my narrow world grow broad;
Within her tiny, crumpled hand
I touched the mighty hand of God.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
She grew to love Him so much – to think that He would leave Heaven to come to this sin-sick world to die a horrible death so that she – just an old rejected relic of a human being could be spared from destruction and be made a treasure to Him.
Song: “Just An Old Rejected Relic”
Just an old rejected relic on the auction block
They decided to throw me away.
The auctioneer asked, “Who will take her?”
The room was quiet and still,
Till Jesus stepped forward and He said, “I will!”
Chorus: If you had known me before I knew Him
You’d understand why I love Him.
If you had known me before I knew Him
You’d understand my love.
I was lonely and defeated before I met the Lord.
I was searching for love in this world.
I couldn’t find just what I needed,
I was empty inside.
But then I met Jesus and I found new life.
(Pause)
I hadn’t much to offer, just heartaches and tears,
And a life that was filled with despair.
For my rags He gave me riches.
For my fears He traded peace.
For my old life He gave me a blessed relief.
Chorus
So, here began a new and interesting life. She learned of submission to God and heard of submission to man. She longed for the day when she could live this things called submission. Oh my, to have a Christian mate. A Christian father for her little girl. A Christian home and family. Something so foreign and yet so intriguing.
Oh, the excitement of the new life in Christ. “Lord, help me to learn. Give me a teachable spirit,” was her constant prayer.
One day she realizes, “I must stop this search for a husband and father for my child. I’ll live my life for God and my child. If He gives me a husband – then great! But if not – then I’ll just be content to live for Christ and my child.”
But then, a dear spiritual friend whispers in her ear, “God is going to give you a Christian mate.” “Really?” she says. “Wow! Hmmmm, I wonder if she’s right!? Well, I’ll just wait and see.”
Then lo and behold, along comes “Prince Charming.”
Oh the amazement of true love. To see God direct in putting two people perfectly chosen by Him together in a life-long partnership. What a miraculous and beautiful thing. It was even more exciting than she ever dreamed. Not only had Jesus given her eternal life in Heaven when she dies, but He was now also giving her an abundant life.
So, this “Knight in Shining Armor” is put on the scene to carry these two lives through the next very difficult segment of their lives. – The training up of a child for God.
God gives these two “love birds” a very short yet full courtship time of only seven months.
They are married when the child is near two years old. The next sixteen years holds many agonizing and yet rewarding events.
They stand amazed at the swiftness of the childhood years:
One day a babe is born, the next day she is off to kindergarten, the next day she stands in front of a mirror noticing her appearance, the next day she is nine only to turn twelve three days later and then look out, at fourteen you realize she’ll soon be gone and three blinks of the eye and she’s walking down the aisle with a white cap and gown only to prepare to leave the nest mere weeks later into the path that her Heavenly Father has so swiftly prepared her for.
That child, now grown, goes off to college and looks back over the life that God has given her. Realizing God’s work of loving-kindness in providing parents who would love her and stay committed to her, she writes a letter home expressing her heart:
Hi Mom,
I was just thinking about you and how awesome I think you are. So many things that happen here whether it’s a message in chapel, or a lecture in class (or whatever), make me think about you and Daddy.
One day in chapel my teacher was preaching about how “someone went out to bring you in”. What he meant was that someone had to give something up of themselves so we could be what we are today. And all I could think about was how you, almost 19 long years ago, gave up yourself, when you were all alone in the world, with one little baby girl, and decided against the opinion of others – to bring her into the world, when it would have been so much easier just to end her life and move on with yours. He was telling us how he had a grandmother, with crippling arthritis, who prayed for him every day that he would become what he is today.
Mom, thank you so much for never losing hope in me and loving me in those early years, like I was your only possession. I know I wasn’t the greatest daughter in the whole world, and I put you and Daddy through a lot at times, but through it all you still loved me and saw hope in me. Thank you so much for all the tears and prayers you guys have spent on me.
I look back over the years, and now that I’m older and away from home, I remember so many of the things you taught me and find myself doing them. I know you used to get frustrated when you didn’t think I was learning anything, and everything you said was going in one ear and out the other. But Mom, it didn’t. I learned more than you thought I did.
It’s so neat to see how God is changing me every day. I’ve learned so many new things and lots of lessons too. He’s helping me grow up a little bit. I’m glad, cuz it’s about time. I’m not Miss Perfect and Miss Spiritual yet at all, but I’ll never stop trying.
Thanks so much for giving me so many, many special memories as I was growing up. I’ll never forget them. You always tried to make life so joyful and exciting for us. I hope I can do the same with my kids.
Mom, I think if any lady I know fits the description in Proverbs 31, it would have to fit you the best. And I mean that with all my heart. I think you are awesome and I want to be like you when I grow up.
Don’t ever think your work is in vain or what you’re trying to teach the kids is never going to stick with them, because it will. I know you’re going through a tough time with my brother right now, but don’t worry, it won’t last for long.
Well, anyway, I hope you have a wonderful day. You know I love you! Tell Daddy I love him. This letter is to him too. So you can let him read it. I love you so much and I can’t wait to see you.
Love,
Your daughter
She also can see two other special ingredients to complete His master plan. One is that He provided many special people to pray for her and influence her. And second, a beautiful talent that has been a continual reminder of His special love and care for her and that could be used to show her appreciation for all he had done in her life.
Looking back there were many difficult moments, many painful happenings. Sin takes its toll. The consequences have haunted them day in and day out. There is a price to pay. Though God can give a happy ending to a life yielded to Him the scars of sin are still so painful. Though joy does come in the morning, it is always best not to listen to the lies of the great deceiver. The pretty picture at the end of a long hard road is only painted by the hand of a Great Healer – Jesus Christ, Who alone can remake a life bound for destruction.
Don’t choose the way of the deceiver to meet your wonderful Lord. You can meet Him down His path of joy and peace and come to the end of the road in the same position as on the other road but without all the many heartaches that took you there. God’s way always has a happy ending but we may choose to go the easy way or the hard way. And though He can very miraculously clean up a life, we don’t have to go the pathway of pain and agony to get there.
Many tears have been shed – tears of sorrow and tears of regret. The road she chose to travel as a young woman, led her away from God. But one day, she heard Him call out to her, “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”
And now her heart is filled with praise for the great God Who took her off of the path of destruction and placed her on a new road, guided by the One Who could make a difference.
Song: “The Way of the Cross Led Me Home”
Through tears of sorrow and tears of regret
I gazed at the road I had trod.
Though these tears could not hide what I could not forget
How it led me away from God.
Then one day I knelt at an old rugged cross
And I heard Him say, “Child, Come Home!”
And throughout endless ages, I’ll sing His praise
For the way of the cross led me home.
These lips that once whispered unspeakable things
Forever His praises shall sing.
And these eyes so unworthy someday shall behold
The face of my Savior and King.
Then I’ll look on the hands that bore the old rugged cross
And I’ll hear Him say, “Welcome Home!”
And throughout endless ages, I’ll sing His praise
For the way of the cross led me home.
The old rugged cross led me home.
Without Christ, we can be not much more than an old rejected relic, but if we will let Him, He will turn us into a “treasured relic,” that He can use and bless.
Finally, God gave her a treasure from the Scriptures; her life verse: I Samuel 12:24 – Only fear the Lord, and serve Him in truth with all your heart: for consider how great things He hath done for you.